Before I was born I had to choose the options I wanted in ranked order of preference.

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I chose pasty white skin so I could instantly sunburn after a half hour in the sun. Why? Because I wanted to be a dumb ass white supremacist when I grew up. I wanted to take (false) pride in my shin color because it's so damn important. It really sets me apart on the beach. I'm the one who is so bright red after an hour in the sun, that I glow in the dark.